the long wait..

at last.. it was something iv been anticipating for i dont know how long. and it finally happened. there were too many things in my head before; prior to it. but when its rite in front of me, i felt 'ktulu'. or maybe not really 'ktulu' in its real sense, maybe its a mistake. no, maybe im not suppose to do it yet. or maybe it was the ambience. maybe.. maybe.. maybe.. there's too many maybes now.. it made me realize that i was not really 'invited'. i was at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and definitely created the wrong impression. its not really something i expected. there was never a time when i felt so out of place like it. i felt like i was some kind of pest. a fly better. where people are just trying to get rid of u since u r so pesky. i wanna so forget that it ever happened. except some part of it =) its ok if u dont know what im rambling about. bcz i dont think anyone knows what ever thing im saying anyway. that's the purpose. for me to ponder, for u to wonder..

the launch

when i thought im gonna start something new, ends up im 'putting it on hold' instead. look at my blog.. its a beginning. yet i havent been writing since my last post in July. but im determined that im gonna fully utilize this blog no matter how long the gap is for each posts. btw, life has been great all this while. got the job where my lousy 4 languages background was put to the test. and im loving every second of it. i gained a lot here. being around a bunch of helpful people. expectations are quite high from my point of view. and also low expectation from those people who were a bit shocked when they came to learn that i dont have any relevant job experience (unless kindy teacher counts). but who cares.. mybe they do. i dont =)